Let me say a little about myself, my writing journey, my years of busyness. I've been seriously writing for fifty years. I was first published (a short story) when I was in my early thirties (so I wrote a long time before anything "happened." I remember walking into the Regulator Bookstore in Durham and seeing a copy of a literary magazine with one of my stories in it. It was a terrific feeling! I worked in the computer industry doing software development and documentation for 37 years, quitting to write full-time several years ago. Over the course of those 50 years I've written 60 or so short stories, from which I've garnered two collections. And I've written three novels. I have a fourth bubbling inside me. And a fifth bubbling but it's a distant bubble. I've never had enough time to write. But I've forced myself to find opportunities to garner enough writing time to keep at it.

So how did I get here? As I said, a year ago I became a full-time writer and looked forward to having all this free time in which to write only to find out that my life was as busy as ever with housework/life crises/world events sucking up as much of my time as before. I realized that I was always going to be busy, to not have enough time. That got me to thinking about where my time was going and what I might be able to do about it (Again, this was fifty years after I'd been writing. Should I have done this earlier? Yes!).

I started writing seriously in high school. I'd always been a voracious reader, my parents read to me every night when I was young, and in truth I'd dabbled in writing earlier. I remember when I was eight or so, typing up a "neighborhood newspaper" with local stories--most of which I made up myself. This was before photocopiers, and I'd type up a two-page paper using "carbons" Remember carbon paper? Thin sheets of paper with carbon on them. You place a sheet between two pieces of typing paper and insert it into a typewriter; if you hit the keys hard enough--bam bam bam--you get two copies. I'd use two carbons to get three pages; then type the entire newsletter three times to end up with nine copies and when I was all done I'd deposit the papers on neighbor's doorsteps. Yes, I actually did this.

But in high school something "clicked" and I got the idea for a full-fledged story which turned into a novella. When did I write? High school is a busy time. School all day and then I'd relax watching a re-run of Gilligan's Island or Leave it to Beaver or Bewitched or I Dream of Jeanie. Then dinner, and then a couple hours of homework. And then I would write. Till 1 or 2 in the morning. I was young. I could do that then. I couldn't do that now.

After high school came college and that was even more difficult. You are up till 1 or 2 doing coursework plus you are trying to figure out how to live on your own for the first time and handle all the "life" problems that inevitably arise. I took a creative writing course or two to keep things going. I got married when I was 19; don't ask how I found the time to fall in love; sometimes love justs happens.

The twenties were busy with grad school and then my first job and seemingly no time to write. At thirty the kids came along and that's the biggest time sync of all. It's like a bomb going off. Instead of writing late at night, I'm changing diapers. When you have young kids the world changes completely and indeed I stopped writing for a couple years (at least regularly). I remember taking everything I had written and throwing it in a dumpster in Pittsburgh. And waving good-bye. It didn't work. It's not going to work.

When the children went off to elementary school, I thought: "Great, I'll now have time to write." Nope! I still had work all day and now there were issues helping the children deal with teachers, classmates, and of course homework. Then middle school. "Great. Now they are more mature and will be able to handle things on their own." Nope. Middle school is the equivalent of running a gauntlet. There are issues with drugs, and romances wanted and not wanted, and helping them deal with the added stress." High school brought some relief. But my job was busier than ever, and soon after starting high school the kids are thinking of college and you help with college prep, college tours, etc ...

Yes, but then--then!--one day are out of the house and all is quiet. Yes? No! Maybe once upon a time that was true, but with cellphones mom and dad are only a text away. "Dad I'm at the grocery store; what type of cheese should I get to make a quiche." Or: "Dad, the used car I bought is making strange noises. What should I do?" Also, there are issues they are dealing with in college that parents are drawn into. To be honest, it was wonderful that they valued our opinion but it was draining.

You can see where this is going. No sooner were the kids settled and had their jobs than issues with elderly parents arose, and that is incredibly challenging and emotional. And exhausting.

And then one day I quit my job Several to become a full-time writer. Now, now, now, I will finally have hours and hours to write! But you know what? After 37 years of the "work life mode" doesn't disappear in a day. I found myself dreaming of work, stressed about work, thinking about work. Work I was no longer doing! I asked other people I knew who had retired and they said: "It's to be expected; it'll take 6 months to a year to feel relaxed once again." Great, I thought. But six months later I finally started to feel like my pre-work self and then our son come to spend two weeks with us around his birthday (he lived out in California, we are in North Carolina) and ended up staying 8 months. He decided he wanted to relocate here and needed to get company approval, then find a house. All the while he was Zooming all day for work from my writing room. And my dream of having a quiet house with a room in which to write was put on hold once again. But one day his move was complete and the house was quiet and finally after fifty years I had my own writing space. It was wonderful.

That is a long-winded way of saying that life throws up obstacles at every stage. That's just the way it is going to be and you have to deal with it.