A couple of things about writing one always needs to keep in mind. They're like acid that eats away at the writing process. I wish I'd realized them earlier; I wouldn't have beat myself up so much.

First, do not be too hard on yourself. Let me repeat that: do not be too hard on yourself. Writing is hard. Rejection is everywhere. Publishers, agents, literary magazines. Overbearing expectations from people you talk to:

    "I'm a writer."
    "What books of yours might I have read?"

    "I'm a writer."
    "Let me know the next time you'll be at bookstore X, Y, or Z!"

If someone told you they were a classical guitar player, would you ask them when was the last time they played Carnegie Hall? You wouldn't think of it! But that seems to happen with writing.

Okay, you're going to develop a thick skin if you stay at this long enough. But it's not just rejection, which is guaranteed and to be expected. There are subtler things that, I think, are harder to deal with, like indifference :

    "I'm a writer."
    "I have a story I've been thinking about for a while. I need to put that down."

    "I just read that story of yours. I couldn't write any better."

These are like punches to the gut.

It's not that people are being mean, non-writers tend to think writing is easy: "You sit down with a notebook and pen and then you move your wrist around and out pops the next bestseller. Right?" Wrong! Writing is hard. Think about it: you're creating an entire world out of thoughts. No one else can do this--this story that's coming together in your mind. And that can feel like quite a burden.

So, pat your shoulder and be proud. Just the fact that you go to writing events is something to be proud of. Just the fact that you draft a story is something to be proud of. Try to think of it this way: writing isn't an end (your name in lights with people cheering). It's a means.

Second, there are times when life is too overwhelming to be writing. There could be a newborn in the house, a loved one could be seriously ill, there could be a job loss, a new job, a divorce. Nor does it have to be something catastrophic. Sometimes daily life is simply too much. Burnout kills creativity. Emotional labor is exhausting. Don't be afraid to admit it. It is not admitting defeat. Writing allows that. Writing will always be there--your entire life. You need to remember this. During times of exhaustion: Stop. Take a break. Nothing is more important than your mental health.

The great South American novelist Jose Donoso--who wrote what I think is the novel which best captures the hallucinatory state of life, The Obscene Bird of Night--tried to commit suicide twice while writing it, saying the work consumed him. I have a confession to make: I had a nervous breakdown after writing my first novel; there was a major life crisis going on and I was so invested in my book that I didn't take a break, and when it was almost finished I literally fell apart and ended up in a doctor's office. It took months to recover. I do not recommend this. Do not go down this path. Again, nothing is more important than your mental health.

To sum up, you need to keep two things in mind when you struggle writing: "Writing is Hard" and "Don't Lose Your Mind." Pat yourself on the shoulder. You are doing the best you can.